3 Reasons Your Self-Esteem Will Make You A Victim
If you reflect upon your life and your journey, I am certain that you can recall being a victim due to someone else’s inconsideration but have you ever stopped to think about the ways in which we victimize ourselves?
As women we are wired to be givers, meet the demanding needs of others and find the needle in the haystack that others need to be successful. We are problem solvers, world savers and game changers. We yearn to be the difference in the lives of others. And for these reasons, we should never be ashamed because these actions are the rent that we pay for taking up space on earth.
These same selfless acts also often leave us victimized because we don’t maintain a healthy balance in our giving due in part to the fact that we forget how valuable we are. We become victims by our own hands.
As much “know your worth religion” that I pump into the universe, I too ride a pendulum that swings back and forth often forgetting just how much I bring to the table. This is not because of anything that I was given but because of everything that I have worked tirelessly to achieve and the earthly gifts and talents that we were each created with.
Humor me and take a moment to reflect upon 3 things that you have accomplished in your lifetime. Even if you are not exactly where you want to be right now in this moment, I am certain that you are further today than you were let’s say 5 years ago (if you have been putting your foot on the gas towards your goals that is).
Now I challenge you to imagine how much further that you will go if you stop forgetting your worth along the way. Knowing your worth allows you to unapologetically dismiss opportunities that won’t get you closer to your dream or make a huge impact in your life. Knowing your worth enables you to dismiss people who leach and don’t refill your bucket thus slowing down your progress because you’re too tired or internal resources too tapped to go any further. Knowing your worth empowers you to make clear, sound decisions about your finances and how they should best be used to leverage your next strategic move. Knowing your worth is life changing every single time it resonates.
Oprah was quoted as saying: The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them”. When we remember our worth, we are powerful.
Imagine how much further that you will go if you stop forgetting your worth along the way.
In my book A Heroine in Heels, I offer strategy upon strategy to defeat moments that take our power or as I call them “valleys”.
One strategy that I use to tap into my power is to
keep a circle of influencers who inevitably recognize their worth and are secure enough to recognize mine in moments of weakness. I humbly allow them to remind me when I lose my way.
I call them angels. Recently, I was given the best advice from one of my angels:
“Stand firm on your path and your value and your process to ensure the quality of your work. It will all work out even if this is the preparation for what comes next.”
If that doesn’t scream “know your worth”, then I don’t know what does.
I have thought about this concept for quite some time and deduce that there are 3 main sectors in which we don’t recognize our worth and they are as follows:
We often commit our time to activities that don’t serve us well. Time is the most precious gift as it can not be replenished. If we recognize how valuable that our time is, we would not allow it to be wasted by any means. Whether we spend it helping others or ourselves, placing a high value on our time, forces us to examine its use.
We were each born with gifts and talents. Not one of use was created higher than the other. The difference between those who allow their talents to make room for them in the world are those who use their gifts wisely, strategically and those who recognize the value in their talents.
Most people recognize the value of money as it is one of the most popular commodities. When we recognize how to make it work for us, then we all recognize that we deserve to have money. Far too often, many of our financial histories would lead us to believe that money is not for us. Those who wish to make a difference in the lives of others need financial resources to do so. I will most certainly leave the financial advice to the Money Maven Patrice Washington but know that low value for self leads us to not so savvy decisions with our finances and we deserve better.
So when you experience “valley” moments, remember that you are NOT a victim. All the power that you will ever need, you already have.
At the end of the day, we are required to give our time, talents and treasures to the world to make it a better place but we must be in control of how much time, talent and treasure that we donate and how much we use these resources to create a life of stability. All my love. ❤️
Ardre Orie, The Empowerment Maven