Sometimes we dread the ending of things in our lives. A relationship, partnership, period in time or even just a moment that we want to last forever. The reality of it all is that everything has a starting and finishing point. We should however be encouraged in knowing that every end signifies a new beginning.
Over the past 3 months, I have had to be what I refer to as the closer; the person who makes a decision to terminate or bring an end to an activity. There are times when difficult situations will force you to find and leverage strength that you did not know existed. When you begin a new chapter, you don’t always immediately plan for the end. Here are a few things I have learned endings and new beginnings:
1. Life is too short for turmoil.
There are many external factors that play a role in how we feel about ourselves, others and the world. Some of these factors are negative and some positive. There is very little to no space for the negative things as they weigh you down. Examples of these things for me are gossip, argumentative people and nay sayers. Overall, these things are dream killers. Dream killers are dangerous because they remove our ability to hope. Our ability to hope is so valuable in that is allows us to envision what could be. This strategy of imagery is what creates ambition and motivation to act on the dream/vision that we have been given. Just as easy as we receive a vision, we can lose sight of it simply based on negative energy.
2. Realize that the words of others have power.
I don’t believe that we need to be surrounded by people who are always in the “yes choir” but I do believe that we must be very careful with what we allow others to speak over our lives.
Words have power.
I don’t think we realize how much power the words of others have in our lives. If someone tells you that you will be great, you go out and work to live up to that expectation. If someone tells you that you will fail, you either live up to it or spend a great deal of time trying to prove them wrong. In either scenario, the words of others can take great power in our lives if we allow them to. We must all learn to develop a filter that will keep us grounded and allow us to take in the things that are good for us and alleviate those things that will not prove beneficial in the long run. Decide whether or not to bring about an end to create a new beginning.
3. Examine the purpose that things serve in your life.
I am a firm believer that if it does not make you wiser, richer, happier or a better person, then it serves no purpose. The “it” could be a person, place or thing in this instance. I continue to hear the quote, you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time around. This statement is not only true but wise. The people that we spend the most time around, things that we engage in the most all lead to the outcome of our finished products (what we leave behind). Living with this sentiment in mind, I try to select friends who are either where I wish to be or working hard to travel a similar path.
Recently, I engaged in a conversation in which I was criticized for “trying to make a name for myself”. It was my mistake in believing that everyone was working towards this goal. I believe that if we are here to do God’s work, making a name for ourselves is equivalent to lifting up the kingdom. We are all here purposed with gifts and talents and it is our responsibility to get to work to unleash the greatness that has been placed in us. More importantly, we should all be working to help unleash the greatness in each other.
If you are around others who intend to do anything other than assist you in cultivating your greatness, examine their purpose in your life and decide whether or not to bring about an end to create a new beginning.
The same can be said of activities. If you engage in anything that is not a true reflection of who you are or intend to be, consider the purpose for your life and decide whether or not to bring about an end to create a new beginning.
4. Take comfort in your own power. There are so many factors in our lives that we can not control. We can however control the end of things in our lives. We can control the end of abusive relationships, the end of negative people, the end of cancerous friendships, the end of activities that degrade the very essence of who we are. This is not to say if we are working a job with negative people, that we have the power to just leave. We must be wise in that we have the power to filter. A filter is defined as a porous device for removing impurities. We are in control of our filters. We are empowered to make the necessary changes. We can keep the impurities out. Doing so is synonymous with creating endings.
Ask yourself; What are the things that need to end for you to live purposefully? Who are the people that need to be filtered?
Although creating ending can be painful, the scary essence of a new beginning can take you to places you’ve never been and channel courage that needs to be harnessed. So what are you waiting for, go ahead, prepare to write a new chapter for the world to read.
Ardre Orie is an Entrepreneur/Philanthropist