Made You Look
Remember when you judged your worth based on how much attention that you received from the opposite sex? Who remembers spending countless hours selecting and outfit, doing you makeup and hair, getting dressed and hanging out with friends only to sum up your time spent by who most caught the eye of the opposite sex? Remember feeling a little less than if you weren’t the champion?
The truth is, this isn’t just a thought process of the past. Many of us still think like this and in some ways, we can thank society for teaching us to do so.
Let’s take it a step further and examine this same scenario through social media. How many times have you posted a photo and checked relentlessly to see how many likes or interaction that you received? If you didn’t get as many as you were expecting, can you be honest enough to admit that your self-esteem took a blow? It turns out that you are not alone. A recent article in Huff Post states that women are heavy consumers of social media and even more so than our male counterparts. The article goes on to state that “A whopping 68 percent of women use social media to stay in touch with friends, as opposed to 54 percent of men.” Click here to see the stats for yourself.
That said, we must be willing to admit that if we are constantly digesting the messages that social media and attention from others feed us, we might need to consider eating differently from time to time for the nourishment of our self-esteem. Can I get an Amen?
If we are being reinforced that outward appearances drive our worth, where does that leave the influence of more meaningful contributors such as education and financial wealth?
All our lives, we have been fed messages that point towards our physical characteristics as the most powerful indicators of our worth, but today I protest.
Now, consider these stats:
- 98% of girls feel pressured by external forces to look a certain way. (National Report on Self-esteem)
- 78% of girls are unhappy with their bodies by age 17. (National Institute on Media and the Family)
- Only 2% of women in the world consider themselves beautiful. (Dove Research)
- Only 14% of top execs for Fortune 500 Companies are women. (CNN Money)
Could this have anything to do with a devalued sense of self? I choose to argue yes. While we are working to get likes on social media, our male counterparts are working to climb the ladder without the added pressure to look a certain way while doing it and don’t get me wrong, I believe that a woman should always be fabulous but according to her own standards, not the world’s and most certainly not because of the feedback that she will get from others.
This is not to say that women aren’t making enormous strides because we are. As far as I am concerned, we run the world. But quite possibly, we can benefit from taking less of our cues from social media and outside influencers and more of our cues from the actual results that we see manifest in our lives from our toil.
So the next time you get dressed up, remember to do it just for you and the next time you post on social media, do it for you and you alone. Don’t as we say “do it for the gram”, do it for you.
We are capable of much more than attracting the attention of the opposite sex. Let your work and your results speak for you. In the end, outward beauty fades, results from your toil will live on for an eternity. All my love. ❤️
Writer | Film Director| Self-Worth Advocate